Bella Marie Cullen change from human to vampire
by jessi-ann cullen
Summary: bella's change how i think it should have happened
1. bitten

"This is what she wants" I tried to convince myself but to no avail.

She sat there in the dark waiting for it to happen for the very essence of what I had been fighting for to come and engulf her into the fiery pits that would soon enough be the thing I didn't want her to become……… a monster.

I had been trying for weeks to convince Bella to wait but she sat there as determined as ever waiting for the fate I would not have wished upon anybody.

She gestured with her hand for me to sit beside her as the enormity of what was about to happen swirled into the room and had me cowering behind a chair. A hard hand was on my shoulders in the next moment bringing me back from the dreadful images that threatened to poison my mind. It was my father coming to check on what was to happen.

As I went to sit with Bella to comfort her and settle my nerves a quite knock interrupted my fantasies. Alice. She had come to check that Bella was all right. Alice by far my favourite sister but the most annoying skipped to the middle of the room and hopped on to the huge white bed provided for the reason of my existence. She pressed her hands to the edges of her temple; I knew her that well that I closed my eyes and let the images of the future flood my mind.

"I'm ready" Bella said as she lay in the middle of the bed with her hand in my hand and her left arm out. Carlisle disappeared for what seamed like hours but it could have only been seconds since my father had gone out the room. He came back with bags of morphine in his hand. Bella gripped my hand with all the force she could muster as the needle slid into her frail human flesh.

"Please remember one thing" I asked her as she was sinking not into unconsciousness but into the reason for the only good thing that was going to happen in the next three days, I tried to comfort myself with that thought. "What is it" she asked in a confused voice. "Please remember that what ever happens tonight you will love me" I said in broken tearless sobs. "Of course I will love you" she said in a voice full of emotion.

"Where do you want it" I asked. She understood at once what I meant." wherever you think will be best" she replied in a confident tone. I traced every vein every bone in her face down to her neck. I kissed her jaw not able to look her in the eye afraid she would see the fear in them. She took my hand in hers then I decided I squared my shoulders so I could think straight and I sunk my teeth into her flesh.

She screamed as the venom seared through her veins. I thought of how much pain the venom, my venom was causing her. I couldn't bear to think that I had hurt her I couldn't understand how I had done it. Her blood was like a siren call to me and id ignored it. In one sense it was an achievement but how could it be called an achievement when id hurt my very existence. I felt utterly sick, sick to my core that I had hurt the one I loved, how could that be a achievement no it couldn't ,whatever my family said to me these next few days I could not think that Bella was becoming a monster just like me. Like my family. She was becoming the very thing we tried not to be. How could I be so weak to allow it? She was becoming the very thing that I should not have allowed.

She was like us now a blood drinker; I had taken away her life and her soul, I had taken away the world she belonged in. Because of me she would never grow old or have a human family to share them moments with. Because I had been selfish I had taken all those things off her. I should be giving her things not taking them away from her. My thoughts carried on in trying to make myself believe that I was not a monster for agreeing to take her life away. But each new thought that came to me of how I could have saved this girl from the one thing that was threatening to destroy her, I would spin fantasies of how I was Bella's protector, not the person who was trying to destroy this fragile girls hopes and dreams. Surely I could be that couldn't I?

Each passing scream was like a demon had summon me out of my own personal hell, all I wanted was to run and scream but as fast and as strong as I was there was no easy to describe how I felt at this precise moment.


	2. sorry not a chapter

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	3. thoughts

Each passing scream was like a demon had summon me out of my own personal hell, all I wanted was to run and scream but as fast and as strong as I was there was no easy to describe how I felt at this precise moment.

There is no easy explanation for the way I felt, I don't think that heartbreak cuts it. Just sitting there completely powerless. Knowing that when she woke up she would be a blood crazed new born. I didn't think that I would wish this upon anyone, and defiantly not her. My one and only love was going to become one of us a VAMPIRE.

The mix of emotions that I felt at this precise moment would be enough for me to remember this for eternity. Part of me wanted this to happen. Id be able to touch her without breaking her, id be able to truly show her how much I love her, but the other side of me was saying that no one should be without a soul, for eternity.

I had been so out of it I hadn't noticed that her heart had sped up. For the last seconds her heart was fighting the venom trying to hold on to her humanity for her, however willing she was to give it up.

Only a couple more minute until she would wake up and be out of this unimaginable pain. I remember mine all too clearly those thoughts stay with you forever.


End file.
